Merry Christmas!

Merry Christmas from
your favorite crafty kittens. 

xoxo, 

the Old Married Ladies

Images from here and here

The Old Married Ladies' Last-Minute Wishlist

What do old married ladies want for Christmas? We know there are a lot of gift guides out there, but we find many of them too expensive, too fussy, and too specific to a certain type of personality.

We did a flash poll among our Facebook friends, and here's what a few people said they want:

• A proper pair of snow boots and a gift card to Urban Outfitters
• An iPad Air
• A smile on a child's face... loljk I just want money
• Cold weather running gear
• A weekend alone to read books

Here are a few easy, foolproof ideas for what to give (or ask for) this year:

Satsuma shower gel from The Body Shop 
Source
Cost: $8
Why: To quote a friend: "A totally indulgent yet practical gift, because I get to use it every day, it smells amazing, and it feels luxurious." 

A snarky coffee mug 
Source
Cost: $16
Why: Because mornings, ugh, amiright?! Pair with a package of great coffee beans from a favorite roaster.
Alternatives: For fans of the Bloggess // For cat lovers // For commuters

A funky scarf 
Source
Cost: Varies ($120 for the one pictured)
Why: Because you really can't have too many scarfs. They're warm, you can layer them, you can wear them to work, or not. They turn a boring outfit into one with personality, and in a pinch you can use them as throw blankets on planes or in cold office.
Alternatives: Faux-fur scarf // Blue and white scarf // Plaid scarf

Fancy chocolate
Source 
Cost: $8 (as pictured) but varies by product
Why: Because I love chocolate, but it's hard to justify spending $8 on a bar for myself... As a gift, though, I'd eat the hell out of it.
Alternatives: Vosges chocolates from Chicago // Fancy marshmallows // Salted chocolate chip cookie mix

Awesome and/or weird books
Source
Cost: Varies by title
Why: Because books are the new collectible. Books are the new art. Books make me happy.
Alternatives: Humans of New York, Maps, The Art of Asking

Amazon (or local bookshop) gift cards
Cost: As little or as much as you want!
Why: If you're not sure whether the person already owns any of the previously mentioned awesome books, or if you're not sure whether they prefer e-reading on a tablet or paper books, you can never go wrong with an Amazon gift card.

Married vs Maiden: What's in a name?

We have relatively little choice on the name people call us. For something so personal and attached to our identity, we're stuck with what our parents deemed right at the time of our birth and a last name tied to family history.

Sure, some of us may opt to adopt nicknames or shortened variations of what's written on paper. Now and then, you hear about the rogue, complete name change or the "middle name swapper" who forgoes their first name in favor of the second on their birth certificate.

Marriage is one of the few times in a woman's life where she faces the question, "What do you want your name to be?" (We suppose divorce is another time, but that's a different blog topic altogether.)

Your humble blog authors have split opinions on the matter, and we know it's an individual decision. What about our friends, many of whom are feminists, working professionals, and upright citizens? Did they keep their names, or stick to tradition and take the man's moniker? So we asked:

Why'd you decide to keep or change your name when you got married? 

CHANGED 
Mrs. Nostalgia
I originally wanted to keep my name. However, it seemed to mean A GREAT DEAL to my husband that I take his name. For him, the idea of family was conferred by taking the name. While I had a great deal of my identity wrapped up in my maiden name, I took his, because I think it meant more to him that I took his than it meant to me to keep mine, if that makes any sense. Now, that said, and even though I turned my maiden name into my middle name for Social Security purposes, I really see my name as my whole maiden name — first, middle, and last with my married name at the end. I am still the person I was, name and all, before I married, and now I’m something more, too — that’s where the married name comes in.   

Rhiannon
I changed my name for the historical record, so it's uniform and there's no question of whether we actually got married, if we got divorced, etc. Also, if we have kids, I want all of us to have the same last name. AND I think my new name is cute. I did keep my maiden name for my writing, because I've already published under that name. My husband says he wouldn't have cared either way, but he was really excited when I told him I was going to change it.

Becky B. 
My maiden names sounds like you are stuttering if you say it quickly (it always bugged me). And I liked the simplicity of changing it and just having one name for our family/once we have kids. I also have no connection to to my maiden name, as in a longer family history, or big name in my field. I am happy I changed my name. Except that my married name is way too cutesy! The only confusion has been that most friends have kept their maiden name or hyphenated, so everyone thinks that that is what I did.

Mrs. Crafty 
For me, it was something that was important to my husband. I actually preferred to keep my maiden name (saving myself from going through the name change process). However, since it was so important to him and I was going to spend the rest of my life with him,  I went ahead and changed it.

And a few other comments: 

• I took my maiden name as my official middle name. I never questioned not taking his name... I suppose because I always knew I would take my husbands name. What MASH-playing kid didn't think this ;)

• It was the thing to do in 1980 when I got married. In the words of Tom Rush, "No regrets, no tears good-bye."

KEPT
The keepers are in the minority, both in our poll and in the national reports. According to this 2013 article, a mere 8 percent of women keep their maiden name when they get married. 

Heather 
I worked for my degree in my name and wanted to be Dr. (Maiden Name). Then, I didn't want to do changing my name personally but keeping it professionally

Mrs. Snacky 
I fancy myself a writer (even if mostly in my head), and I prefer the literary panache of my lifelong name as it looks in print. My husband had no objections to me keeping my birth name. But when we had our wee babe, I didn't consider hyphenating or inserting my name on his birth certificate. Since my husband is an only child, he wanted to pass on his family name, and I understand that impulse. Long live the patriarchy, I suppose.  

Photos from the Library of Congress here and here

Formula for easy living: Travel tips from a frequent flier

Formula for easy living: In this series, we look at shortcuts and hints for our everyday lives. The goal: Create habits for quicker decision making, stylish living, and more efficient daily routines. Today, we're talking about strategies for business travel. 

There are two kinds of traveler: Business travelers and everyone else.

For the last two years, I traveled almost every single week for work. I left on a Monday morning 6 a.m. flight and returned home on a Thursday 7 p.m. flight. I've worked in Minneapolis, Chicago, Pittsburgh, Orlando, D.C., Charlotte, and even Saudi Arabia. It has shaped me into a very efficient (and bitter) traveler. If you find yourself about to embark on a business trip, here are my recommendations.

House hunting and soul searching

Dear Mrs. Crafty,

Let's talk about house hunting. We've seen so many houses: Cape cods with additions stacked on top and closets leading to the roof. Victorians updated in the '80s, with shag-carpeted bathrooms and Pepto-Bismol-pink walls. Mid-century ranches with updated kitchens but the original, 1950s-era furnace and aluminum-framed, single-pane windows. Bungalows with master bedrooms connected to nurseries. Suburban dream houses gone to waste in the downturn, stinking of moldy basements. Finally, we saw our future house but had our hopes dashed briefly: The traditional two-story house with a great floor plan, beautiful lot, and family-friendly neighborhood that got pulled off the market when we wanted to make an offer.

House-hunting led to some soul-searching for me. I'd gotten used to living in the city of Chicago, commuting by train and taking cabs for special occasions, strolling for miles through dense neighborhoods, never more than a few blocks from a neighborhood market, coffee shop or bus stop. I liked being a young, urban professional who tried new restaurants, went to street festivals, and popped in to the Art Institute on random days.

But this whole "return to my Ohio roots" is all about focusing on family, affordable living, a little bit of green space, and a comfortable life. I've been a married, self-sufficient adult for many years now, and I'm starting to see a lot of logic in (gasp) THE SUBURBS. Especially since my office is in the 'burbs, my parents live nearby, and we have old friends in the area. But it's hard to make that transition to a new sort of life.

My teenage self is all, "You're not cool!" And my current self responds, "Correct. I like baking, short commutes, and goofy faces to make my baby giggle." I'm recognizing that I can be a creative, family-focused person, and those two qualities don't contradict each other. Nor do they require me to live in a big city or in a dilapidated house.

Do I still want to try new restaurants and soak up local culture? Sure. But is that my routine five days a week? No. I'm in a pretty dedicated "family and domesticity" phase.

Along the way in this house hunt, I've asked, "How will I know when we find the right place? Will lightning strike? Will angels sing? Will I get a tingly feeling in my toes?"

Just when I was at my wit's end, a tiny glimmer of hope emerged. We grabbed on to the mythical beast called "Suburbia" and rode it to home-buying victory. We made an offer on the traditional two-story and added a heartfelt letter sharing our daydreams for our family. The sellers decided that they were ready to downsize and we agreed on a price. We're hoping to move by late November. It turns out I'm ready for the suburbs.

Dreaming of my future home,
Mrs. Snacky

Photos from the Library of Congress here, here and here

Satisfying a difficult customer: A pattern for "husband mittens"

On my first date with my husband, I showed him some of my knitting. He inspected it, asked questions, and finally told me how cool it was that I could make things. Clearly, an early indication that he was a keeper! Ever since that fateful day, he's asked me to make lots of things for him. Some are reasonable requests (e.g. sweater, hat, mittens) and others only allow me to stare at him with that not-a-chance look (e.g. snake hat that looks like it is eating his head, a complete suit, a life-size lobster, a sand worm from Dune).

His most recent request was better gloves.

I had made him a pair of gloves to his specifications three years ago:

1. Super soft (made with baby alpaca)
2. Fingertip-less (to use his smartphone)
3. Black and grey to match his coat

All of that was a mistake (except the color) and totally my fault. I knew better.

In the end, the gloves became super fuzzy. Baby alpaca is not a great material for gloves because they rub a lot. Also, no fingertips left some seriously cold hands. His proposed (and rejected) suggestion: Knit tiny caps for all 8 exposed fingers. Once again, I just gave him the look.

This summer, I decided to ignore him and knit mittens for him that I *thought* would be versatile enough for taking the dog for a walk and doing stuff on the weekends.

My specifications:

1. Soft
2. Not fuzzy
3. Mittens instead of gloves (easier and faster to make)
4. Fingerless, but with a cap to cover them
5. Exactly his size (a customized pattern)
6. AND one of his specifications: Snug fit

I've been making mittens for quite some time now, so I picked out some yarn and threw it on needles. While perusing my local knitting store, I came across MillaMia, an extra soft merino wool. It was perfect. I bought black and decided not to do anything fancy.

The biggest thing that made these mittens truly customized was the distance between the top of the wrist and the thumb hole. For my husband, the distance was longer than mine and longer than most patterns I had found (granted the majority of knitting patterns I use are for women). So in Mrs. Crafty style, I just kept pestering him to put them on as I went along to get the correct size. Remember my personal rule: Measure never!

Overall he is pretty happy with them, and I really enjoyed making them. The true test will be winter. I'll do an update and let you know how they worked out.

Pattern

Yarn
MillaMia 100% Merino Wool, 2 balls of 50g

Needles

US 3.25 Double Pointed Needles 

Gauge

9 stitches = 1" (I knit tightly!)

Notions

Yarn needle for sewing on finger cap, stitch markers, and crochet hook for correcting mistakes

Wrist

• Cast on 40 stitches.
• Spread evenly over 3 needles making sure not to twist.
• Knit 2, Purl 2 all the way around to form rib for 3 1/2 inches (or as long or short as you'd like).

Thumb Gusset
Here you have to add stitches to make sure you have enough room for the thumb.

• *Knit 18 stitches, place your stitch marker, make one stitch, knit 4, make one stitch.
• Knit two rounds.*
• Repeat * section until you have 15 stitches for the thumb.
• Then continue to knit in the round until the thumb to wrist height is correct for your hands. These mittens were 2 1/2 inches.
• Slip those 15 stitches onto scrap yarn or stitch holder to be worked later.

Rest of Mitten

• Knit for an inch.
• Start rib pattern (K2, P2) for 9 rows.
• Loosely cast off (beware, casting off tightly will prevent fingers from moving).

Thumb

• Pick up the stitches that you placed on the holder and put them on 3 needles.
• As you begin, pick up one stitch on the inside of the thumb, to help close the gap between the thumb and mitten. (16 stitches)
• Knit in the round for the length of your thumb, leaving 1/2 inch of thumb exposed when you try it on. 
• To decrease, K3, K2tog, 3 times (12 stitches). 2nd row, Knit. 3rd row, K2, K2tog (9 stitches). 4th row, Knit.
• Finally cut the yarn, leaving a long tail. Thread the yarn onto a needles and pull it through those 9 stitches, secure and weave in your ends.

Cap

• Cast on 43 stitches. For a smaller hand, cast on few stitches.
• Knit in the round for the desired length of your fingers. Approximately 25 rows.
• Finish the top of the cap by K9, K2tog. Then on the second row, K8, K2tog. Repeat in this manner until you have 16 stitches. (If you leave fewer stitches, your cap will be pointed).
• Cut the yarn, leaving a long tail. Thread the yarn on a needle and put it through the 16 stitches and tie off. Weave in your ends.
• With the back of the glove facing you, sew the cap onto the mitten. Match 20 cast of stitches on the cap to 20 stitches on the glove. The best place to attach it is right at the bottom of the ribbing.

Good luck if you try this pattern. Let me know if it needs any corrections. I hope these mittens do indeed satisfy my difficult customer!

All day with the baby...

This comic from Kathleen Founds made me laugh.

The duality of my parenting experience is thus: Some moments you are bowled over with love and awe, and other times you just need to check your email.

Can anyone else relate? 

Kathleen Founds is a writer and illustrator who colors giant squids and obsessively revises her novel in Marina, California. Thanks for letting us share, Kathleen!